


The Sun will Never Set

by superpotterdiaries27



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-18 00:04:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14200569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superpotterdiaries27/pseuds/superpotterdiaries27
Summary: The phone was buzzing but Dean did not want to pick it up. He knew who was calling before even looking at the caller ID. Dean picked up the phone anyway.





	1. Chapter 1

**Part One**

_January 11 th 2014_

The phone was buzzing but Dean did not want to pick it up. He knew who was calling before even looking at the caller ID. Dean picked up the phone anyway.

“Hello,” Dean said.

“ _Dean_.” Dean should not have picked up. He definitely shouldn’t have picked up. _Fuck._

“What?” Dean spit out coldly while looking over the articles on the computer.

“How was your day, Dean?” Castiel said on the other side of the phone, sounding nervous. But what did Dean know. Apparently, Dean didn’t know a lot about Castiel these days.

“Cut the bullshit, Cas. What do you want?” Dean said as he minimized the tab.

“I am leaving work now. Would you like me to come pick you up?” Castiel said.

“Fine.” Dean huffed and hung up the phone. He knew that Cas would come to pick him up anyway. This was where they had met after all.

* * *

_April 4 th 2009 _

It was a beautiful sunny day; clear blue sky and the birds were chirping. Dean sighed with contentment as he drank his coffee and looked over the article he had just written. Dean Winchester was sure he was going to get a promotion after publishing this article.

All thoughts of happiness suddenly escaped his mind when someone ran into him and caused him to spill his coffee on his handwritten article.

And that’s when he realized he should’ve listened to Sam and brought a laptop. The nerd had a point, not that Dean would ever admit that to his brother.

Dean was about to curse out the person who dared to help mess him up his work when he noticed the bluest eyes. All his thoughts went out the window.

“Holy shit, I’m really sorry.” It took a few seconds for Dean to register that Blue Eyes had spoken.

“It’s fine.” Dean said. What? He was going to yell at this motherfucker. He was going to curse him to the moon and back and he goes with, ‘ _It’s fine_.’ What had just happened?

“Hey, if you want, I can buy you another coffee. It’ll be on me.” Blue Eyes smiled apologetically.

“Can’t say no to coffee.” Blue Eyes laughed and Dean couldn’t wait to make him laugh again.

It occurred to Dean that he couldn’t keep calling him Blue Eyes.

“So what’s your name?” asked Dean.

“Castiel.”

“Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” Dean smirked.

“If I had a penny for every time someone said that, I’d probably be a millionaire.”

Dean couldn’t help but smile. “So why that name?”

“Parents were religious freaks.”

“Were?”

“They passed away a few months ago. Car accident.” The frown on Castiel’s face was unsettling. Dean wanted to make Castiel laugh again.

“Sorry.” He didn’t know what else to say. “Mine too actually, a few years ago.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” After a few seconds of silence, Castiel said, “So what’s your name?”

“Dean. Turns out that I was named after my grandma, Deanna.”

“Bet that makes you feel secure in your masculinity,” Castiel said then winked.

Dean laughed. God, Dean didn’t remember when was the last time he had laughed so much.

“So what do you do?” Dean said, deciding to change the subject.

“I’m a chef. What about you?” said Castiel.

“I’m a car critic,” Dean said.

“Well good thing that you’re not a food critic or we would’ve had some problems.”

Dean laughed heartily.

The rest of the evening went by smoothly. No other beverages were spilled and Dean had shared a meal with Castiel.  They got along so well that Dean hadn’t noticed that time had gone by.

Right before the café closed, they exchanged their numbers and then went their separate ways.

Dean couldn’t stop thinking about those blue eyes.

* * *

_January 11th 2014_

The constant buzzing of the phone woke Dean out of his memories. Dean wished he hadn’t been thinking of them. They were just memories now, nothing more.

He picked up the phone. “Hello.”

“I’m here, Dean,” Castiel said flatly on the other side.

Dean rolled his eyes. “ _Great_.”

After making sure that today’s work was saved, he turned off the computer, paid the bill and walked out of the café.

As he walked to the exit, he noticed that there weren’t many people in the café. He was pretty sure he was the last one there. It had been a busy night but the customers that had come in had all mysteriously disappeared. Well, that’s the way it seemed to Dean, who was too enthralled in his latest article assignment to notice.  

He smiled at the waitress, Lisa. He remembered that not so long ago he had considered having a fling with her but then Castiel had come along. Castiel, with his bright blue eyes, a kind heart and the ability to always make Dean laugh and Dean forgot all about her.

An affair with Lisa sounded like a great idea now. He could give Cas a taste of his own medicine. But deep down, Dean knew he was above that. 

As he walked towards Cas’s familiar car, he was struck by another memory.

* * *

_April 20 th, 2014_

“Someone will see,” Cas said and tried to push Dean off him. They were in the backseat of Cas’s car.

“Don’t worry, nobody walks here at this time,” Dean said as he peppered Cas’s neck with kisses.

“Mmm.” Cas sighed. There was no way of getting Dean to agree with him when he got like this. Cas decided it was best to relent and let Dean win this time.

Right after they both had managed to take off their shirts, someone knocked on the window.

“ _Fuck_.”  Turned out Cas was right to be concerned. He was so going to rub that one in Dean’s face _if_ they were going to get out of this.

Dean gently pushed Cas off and then put on his shirt. He unlocked the door and stepped outside.

Fifteen minutes later, Dean was back in the car.

“Well?”

“I’m afraid we’re going to have spend a night in jail.”

“What?!”

Dean burst out laughing. “I’m kidding, baby but you should’ve seen your face.”

“I’m going to kill you, Dean.” But all Cas did was smile back.

“That was Bobby Singer. He’s an old friend of my dad’s, just gave me a warning.”

“Thank god.” Cas huffed out a breath of relief.

“Well look on the bright side.”

“What bright side?”

Dean smirked.  “You can now cross off car sex off of your bucket list.”

“Okay, that was never on my bucket list, maybe on yours, but definitely not mine. And also, you do realize that we didn’t actually have sex, right?”

“Well then let’s get going.” Dean wiggled his eyebrows.

“Dean, I’d rather not get caught by another cop. Can we just go home?”

“Fine.” Dean sighed and seemed to pout a little.

Cas laughed at Dean’s behavior. “You know we can still have sex at home, right?”

A big grin broke out on Dean’s face. “Okay, let’s go home.”

* * *

_January 11 th, 2014_

Dean knocked on the passenger window and was given a feeling of satisfaction that Cas had been startled by the noise. Well just a little. Dean slid in the seat and buckled his seatbelt. There was nothing but silence in the car until Cas cleared his throat. Dean turned to look at him.

“How was your day, Dean?” Cas said as he made a turn.

“Fine, how was yours?” Before Cas could respond, Dean added, “Sleep with any other coworkers?”

“Dean.”  Castiel’s grip on the wheel tightened.

“What, _honey_?” Dean rolled his eyes. He knew his behavior was childish but he didn’t care. God, he was so tired. He was just so tired of everything.

* * *

_December 21 st, 2013_

“ _What_?” Dean whispered. He could barely breath.

“I’m sorry, Dean. God, I was stupid.” Castiel lowered his gaze to the floor.

“Stupid? Stupid is drinking while driving. Stupid is wearing your shirt inside out. Stupid is not fucking your coworker at a holiday party while your husband is home worrying about you!” Dean yelled. He clenched his fists and told himself to breath properly before he would have a panic attack.

“I was drunk,” Castiel said quietly.

“That’s no excuse!” God, Dean needed to get out of here. He couldn’t stand to be in this room any longer. He really needed to leave.

“I’m leaving,” Dean said.

“When will you come back?” said Castiel quietly.

“Want to know so you can screw another guy?” Dean was happy to see Castiel flinch at that. “Don’t worry, I’m just going for a walk.” Dean took off his ring and threw it at Cas. Then, he stormed out and made sure to slam the door as loudly as he could.

* * *

 _January 11th 2014_

Castiel parked the car in their garage. To say the commute was uncomfortable was an understatement.  Castiel had turned on the radio hoping to maybe get Dean to comment on his music choice. But Dean stared out the window the whole time.

When they did get out, Dean slammed the car door and went up the porch stairs to open the front door. He didn’t wait for Castiel to walk in before shutting the door.

Castiel sighed as he walked up the stairs and fetched out his key. He opened the door again and went to hang his coat. He walked into the living room and grabbed one of his shirts that was lying on the couch. Ever since _that_ night, Castiel had taken the couch and Dean had stayed in their bedroom. Castiel supposed it wasn’t his bedroom anymore.

* * *

 _June 5 th 2009_

_"I’d never dreamed that I’d meet someone like you.”_ Dean sang into Cas’s ear.

They had been eating dinner when the song came on the radio. Dean, being ever the enthusiast jumped off his stool and had dragged Cas to the living room.

At first, Cas had felt that the song was a bit too depressing for his liking but Dean had confessed that it was secretly one of his favorite songs and Cas decided that he liked it too.

The music didn’t matter anyway. They were slow dancing and what mattered was that they had each other. Castiel sighed contentedly as Dean continued to sing to him. They danced for another hour or so, not noticing anything but each other.

* * *

_June 5 th 2009 _

“Dean,” Castiel said urgently. Nothing happened. He decided to shake Dean.

“Mfffm.” Dean rolled over and pulled the pillow over his head. Castiel pulled the pillow out of his grasp. “Dean.”

“Ugh, what?” Dean had finally cracked open his eyes.

“You know that phrase, ‘the sun never set on the British Empire’?”

“If you want to talk about history, can we do it later? Because I was kinda trying to sleep.” Cas could’ve sworn he could see Dean roll his eyes, even in the dark.

“Well maybe, that can be our thing.” Dean sighed. Cas wouldn’t stop talking would he?

“I don’t know if you’re aware but we both have things. The activity we just participated in proved that.” Dean smirked.

“Shut up, Dean,” Castiel said even though the corners of his mouth had twitched upward.

“Yeah okay, I guess I like it. The sun will never set on our relationship.” Dean leaned forward and placed a kiss on Castiel’s lips. “No matter where we are.”

“Now can I go to sleep?” Dean added on.

“One more thing.”

“Yeah?” Dean tilted his head to look up at Cas.

“I know it’s too soon but I wanted you to know that I- ” He paused as if he was uncertain what he was going to say and hadn’t actually thought it over fifty times like Dean suspected him to have done.

“Cas, I really want to sleep, just tell me.”

“I love you,” Cas blurted out and then widened his eyes, as if he was scandalized by his own confession.

A few seconds of silence passed before Dean burst out laughing. Cas wondered whether to take that offensively or not.

After a few seconds, Dean calmed down and said, “Is that what you were worried about?” Dean snorted. “I gotta tell you man, I love you too, now can we please go to sleep?”

“Oh.” Cas smiled and wrapped an arm around Dean’s waist.

They fell asleep in each other’s arms within a few minutes.

* * *

_January 11 th 2014_

As he went to wash up, he thought about what he was going to make for dinner. As he walked out of the bathroom, he saw Dean emerging out of the bedroom. He had his favorite ACDC shirt on. It fit nicely on Dean and showed off his muscles. Oh how Castiel had missed those arms.

Dean bumped into him and didn’t even bother to look up. He didn’t even say anything. Castiel sighed.

Entering the kitchen, he decided to make mac& cheese. Growing up, it was his favorite meal and he still remembers how he had begged and begged his mother to teach him how to make it until she finally gave in. He didn’t get it done correctly the first time. But that wasn’t what stayed with him all these years. It was the way his mother smelled, all warmth and happiness and how she just laughed even though he had messed up the recipe. She had ordered some pizza and promised that they could try making the mac and cheese again.

And after he met Dean, he found out that mac & cheese was his favorite food as well. So, he thought if he made it today, maybe, maybe they could have an actual conversation.

He was going to make the mac & cheese while he could still do anything. He knew that it was going to get him within months and soon he wouldn’t be able to do much of anything.

* * *

_January 11 th 2014 _

As Castiel stirred the sauce and contemplated on whether he should have made a salad, Dean walked in the room.

“I see you’re making mac and cheese. You normally make mac and cheese before telling bad news. You’ve got something to tell me, don’t you?”  Dean gave Cas an accusing look. “Maybe you’re having an affair, _oh wait_.”

Castiel sighed and thought back to the day his mother had agreed to teach him how to make mac and cheese for the first time.

* * *

_March 6 th, 1998_

Castiel rubbed his eyes and padded across the living room to the kitchen. He was still wearing pajamas and he bit back a yawn when he saw a frown on his mother’s face.

“What’s wrong, mom?” He asked her as he sat down on the chair.

“Oh nothing, your father just called. He said he wouldn’t be home in a few days.” She sighed. “Something about the weather.”

Castiel was disappointed but he knew not to show it and managed a small smile and said, “That’s okay. I don’t mind. We can celebrate when he gets back.”

“Oh, honey.” His mother got up and hugged him. She smelled like lilies and since that moment, the smell of lilies had always managed to keep him calm.

“I was going to make mac and cheese but I guess we can just order pizza- ” She looked around trying to find the menu when Castiel stopped her.

“Can you teach me how to make mac and cheese?” Castiel said.

“You’re only ten, Castiel,” His mother said.

“Please.” He looked up at her with hopeful eyes.

“Oh, I don’t know-” Castiel interrupted her again and said, “Please, please.”

“How could I say no those eyes?” She laughed and said, “Okay, let’s get the ingredients.”

* * *

_January 11 th 2014_

Dean’s voice brought him out of his memories. “What are you all smiley about? Did something _great_ happen at work again?”

His smile turned into a frown quickly. He ignored Dean’s remark and got back to the mac and cheese.

* * *

_January 11 th 2014_

Dinner had been awful. Neither of them spoke to each other. It had to be the worst meal Castiel had experienced. And that was saying a lot since he had eaten those tacos that one time that Dean had claimed were so good and well it turned out they weren’t that good after all.

After Dean was finished with his bowl, he got up to put his bowl in the sink and was about to leave when Castiel’s voice stopped him.

“Dean, we have to talk about this.” Castiel gestured to the space between him and Dean.

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Look I know what I did was bad but we can get-”

“Do you even hear yourself? What is there to get through?” Dean said harshly, “It shouldn’t be a thing to get through in the first place.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” Castiel said and whispered, “Do you want a divorce?”

And if Dean hadn’t been used to the quiet way Castiel talked, he probably wouldn’t have heard him. Oh but he heard him. He heard him loud and clear. And hadn’t this been his plan all along? Hadn’t he been waiting for this conversation to take place these past few weeks?

Then why did he answer, “I don’t know” and bolted out of the kitchen as fast as he could and locked the door behind him?

“We _have_ to talk about this, Dean,” Castiel yelled after him.

Dean shut his eyes and leaned back against the door.

When would he stop feeling like shit?

* * *

_January 13 th 2014_

He was getting out of the shower when he received the call. It was his day off so he had decided to sleep in and he wondered who could be calling him. He knew Castiel was at work and he rarely called Dean during work hours. _God forbid_ Dean call him. Apparently being a chef freed you of having to pick up your phone, even when it was your freaking lunch break. And Dean knew that it couldn’t be Sam because he was most likely at school.

As he walked back to his bedroom to pick up the phone, he really hoped it wasn’t his boss, Bobby calling. He so rarely got a day off and when he finally did, they somehow managed to screw something up and then called for him to come in. As much as he loved his job, he enjoyed a relaxing day every now and then.

He picked up the phone and said, “Hello.”

“Hi may I speak to Castiel Novak-Winchester?” Dean really hated himself for going with the suggestion of hyphenating their names. Cas had had the ability to make him do anything just by pulling his stupid puppy face. That had caused Dean to do a lot of stupid things, including agreeing with Cas about the hyphenating.

“He’s not here. May I ask who’s calling?”

“This is Castiel’s doctor. We received the results from his MRI.” MRI? Dean didn’t even know that Castiel was getting an MRI.

“Okay, this is his husband. I can take a message for him,” Dean said, swallowing down the lump that had formed in his throat.

“Well the results aren’t looking so good so we would like him to come in again this week. I’m sorry.” She whispered the last part quietly, as if afraid that the news might set off Dean, if only Dean knew what she was talking about.

“Okay, I’ll tell him. Thank you for calling,” He said and after saying goodbye, he hung up the phone.

What could Castiel have gotten an MRI for?

* * *

_January 13 th 2014 _

After grabbing the mail, he walked up the stairs, fished out his key and opened the door. He was about to get his shirt and sweatpants from the futon when he saw it was occupied. _By Dean_. It was quite a shocking turn of events, seeing as Dean was rarely even in the same room as him.  

Castiel cleared his throat. Dean looked up from the book he was reading, placed it on the coffee table and swung his legs so that he was sitting sideways.

“So Cas, anything you want to tell me?” Dean said casually quirking his eyebrow.

“What’s with the new interest?” Castiel said placing his backpack next to the couch.

“Well you see I got a phone call today about 10 o’clock,” Dean said.

“Oh yeah, about what?” Castiel said pulling on a new shirt.

“Oh just about somebody’s MRI results,” Dean said raising his eyebrow again.

Castiel sputtered. “What?”

“You heard me.” Dean sighed. “Now what I’d like to know why you were getting an MRI and why in the hell you didn’t fucking tell me.” Dean’s voice rose with every word.

“Well seeing as we’re not going to be married anymore, I am not obligated to tell you anything.”

“Well seeing as-” Dean mocked, “we’re still married, you are still obligated to tell me everything.”

“No I’m not.”

“Yes you are.”

“No I’m not.”

“Yes you are.”

“Dean, we’re fighting like school children. Is this really necessary?” Castiel said putting on his socks.

“You’re right, it’s not. Now tell me why the hell you got an MRI.” Dean demanded.

Castiel sighed. “All right I will.” He paused. Then added, “It was for cancer.”

Dean bolted right out of his seat. “What?” He whispered.

“I have been having headaches for quite awhile and not feeling well so I went to the doctor and they scheduled me for an MRI.” Castiel said, calmly as if he was talking about the weather and not a life or death situation.

“And?” Dean croaked, afraid of raising his voice.

“Well after they called you in the morning, they called me on the cell.” Castiel got up to go to the kitchen.

“And?” Dean repeated.

“I just told you. Weren’t you listening?”

“Don’t give me that bullshit, Cas.”

“They told me they found a tumor.” Castiel said as he dug out the remaining mac and cheese from the fridge and placed it into the microwave.

“Well can they remove it?” Dean followed Castiel into the kitchen and sat down on the stool.

“It’s too late now, it spread,” Castiel said as he took two plates out and divided the mac and cheese evenly among the plates. Another time Dean might’ve smiled at Castiel’s OCD-ness and his need to perfect everything, even mac and cheese portions.

“How long? How long do you have left, Cas?”

“Dunno, probably not much,” Castiel said as he sat down and placed one bowl for Dean and another for himself.

“Jesus.” Dean ran a hand through his hair. “Jesus Christ, how the fuck are you so calm?”

Castiel shrugged then shifted his gaze to the floor. “I kind of have to be.”

“Shouldn’t you be in a hospital?” Dean said lifting a spoonful of mac and cheese.

“I told them that I wanted to stay home until things got bad,” Castiel said.

“And that is when exactly?”

“The last week. That’s when I’ll have to be in bed most of the time. I probably won’t be able to function at all.” Dean suddenly lost his appetite. He pushed his plate away. He didn’t feel like eating anymore. Actually, he thought he would never want to eat again.

* * *

_January 13 th 2014_

Dean shot up out of his bed. He coughed and swiped his hair from his sweaty forehead. He felt his cheeks and found them damp.

He’d had another nightmare. And apparently this time, he was crying. _Fuck._ The nightmares had started after Castiel had broken his _wonderful_ news.

As he pulled off his sweaty shirt and the pants and quickly changed into a new set of pajamas, he thought about what he was going to do. This was the third night in a row that he had woken up in a cold sweat.

He didn’t want to talk to anyone, let alone Castiel. He wanted to just go back to sleep and to just forget about what a mess his life had become.

He knew he couldn’t do that; there was no going back. No matter how much you want to go back and undo something, you can’t. This wasn’t _Back to the Future;_ this wasn’t something a time-travel spell could fix. There was no fixing it and Dean knew that.

Dean opened the bedroom door and then walked downstairs. He saw Castiel sleeping peacefully on the couch. His mouth was open and he looked like he was about to kiss the pillow. Dean laughed.

 _How many more days would he have like this?_ Dean pushed the thought out of his head and blinked away the tears. He went to the kitchen and warmed up a glass of milk.

After finishing his drink and putting the glass into the dishwasher, he walked back into the living room.

For several minutes, he stared at Castiel sleeping soundly. After everything that had happened, Cas was going to die. Sure, he was still very pissed with him but no matter what, he still loved his husband. That’s why he made the decision right then. He pulled his slippers off, pulled the blanket up and laid down behind Cas.

“Dean?” Cas looked up through half-opened eyes and slurred questioningly.

“Shh…. Go back to sleep.” Dean pressed his lips to Cas’s dark hair, letting a tear slip.

Castiel turned back and fell asleep within seconds.

Dean put his arms around Cas’s waist, pulling him in for the first time in weeks. He threaded his fingers through Cas’s dark locks, hoping against hope that everything would be okay. 

* * *

_January 14 th 2014_

The next day Dean woke up and went to take a shower like he had done every other day. But he knew that something had changed when he came out of the bathroom and Cas said “Who are you?” while holding a baseball bat in his hand.

“Cas, relax. It’s me, Dean. Remember?” _Oh please God, remember me. Anything but this._ He could take the cold shoulder, the silent treatment; anything but he could never live with Castiel forgetting him. He didn’t want to live in a world where Castiel didn’t remember him.

Cas’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t know a Dean.”

“You met me at a restaurant five years ago. We’re married, don’t you remember?” For the first time, Dean cursed at himself for taking that goddamn ring off.

“Prove it.”

“Uhh..okay-” Dean scratched his head for inspiration. “Oh I got one. Your mom- she used to make you mac & cheese whenever you were upset. That started after your father missed your 10th birthday.” Dean looked up to see if recognition was evident in Cas’s eyes.

Evidently it was seeing as Cas put his bat down. “I’m sorry, Dean. My memory isn’t working correctly anymore.” Cas looked down, ashamed. Dean could see that tears were starting to form.

 _Fuck_. Now Cas was ashamed and that made Dean feel guilty as hell. “Cas, it’s okay. Something like this was bound to happen.”

Dean stepped closer to Cas. He cradled Cas’s face and lifted his chin up. “Hey, look at me, sweetheart. You’re fine, everything’s going to be okay.”

 _How many lies are you going to tell_? He pushed the thought back and allowed Cas to press his face into the warmth of Dean’s sweater. Dean whispered soothing words as Cas cried.

They stayed like that for a while.

* * *

_January 14 th 2014_

After the whole stranger-danger fiasco went down, Cas decided to take a nap and Dean was using the time to work on a new article. He had called Bobby and told him that he wouldn’t be able to come in to work for the next week or so.

At first, Bobby was appalled but after Dean told him the circumstance, Bobby sighed and said, “You take as much time as you need, boy. Don’t worry about us here; we’ll get on fine without you. Except of course for Garth, bet that idgjit’s going to miss you.” Dean had huffed out a laugh, said, “thanks” and then hung up the phone.

He was surfing the Internet when an idea struck him.

* * *

_January 14 th 2014_

“Hey you’re up. How are you feeling?” Dean said. Castiel raised his eyebrows.

“Right- stupid question- why would anyone ask you that.” Dean snorted, trying not to give anything away.

Apparently Cas knew him better than that. Cas crossed his arms and said, “What’s going on, Dean?”

And where did Cas get off crossing his arms and saying things like that. Dean wasn’t even sure if Cas was safe here. All he knew about cancer was from soap operas that he swore he never watched.

“Well I was thinking-”Dean paused looking up at Castiel. Castiel nodded and Dean continued, “Do you want to go on a road trip with me?”

“Dean is that such a good idea? I mean we haven’t - ”

“Godammit, Cas, you are fucking dying and you want to just sit back and wither away?” Dean banged his fist on the table.

Cas flinched.

“Cas I’m sorry but I can’t sit back and just watch you fucking die. You decided not to go the hospital. Well we have to do something- even if it is untreatable, we have to do something!” Dean blinked back the tears, turning his head around so that Cas couldn’t see. He had to stay strong for Cas.

Cas came up to him and wrapped him in a hug. “Dean, it’s ok, it’s only me, you don’t have to pretend. Shh, it’s okay, it’s okay.”

After a few minutes, Dean calmed down and said,  “What a bunch of blubbering idiots we are.” Castiel puffed out a laugh.

“Okay,” Castiel said after a few seconds of silence.

“What?” Dean whispered, not yet trusting himself to speak loudly.

“You said you want to go on a road trip, let’s do it.”  Castiel looked up and gave Dean a smile.

Dean didn’t want to think about a time without Cas’s smile.


	2. Chapter 2

_January 15 th_

After they finished planning out their road trip, Dean decided to stop by at Sam and Jess’s apartment before they went on their trip. Jess was away at work but Sam was at home and boy, did he not like Dean's idea.

“He cheated on you,” Sam said accusingly after Dean finished telling him their plan while Cas sat in the car waiting for him.

“Yeah, I know but I can’t - I can’t just let him die, Sammy,” Dean said and swallowed past the lump in his throat.

“I’m sorry to sound rude but he’s going to die, anyway, Dean!”

Dean tore at his hair and glared at his brother. “I love him, Sam, okay, _fuck_ , I know it’s fucked up, but I still love him and he doesn’t have a lot of time left here and I want him to enjoy it while he can. And believe me, I know what he did was wrong but it’s too late to get into that and I know that if you were in a similar situation with Jess, you’d do the same.”

Sam softened his expression and sighed. “I still don’t think it’s a good idea for you to go on road trip. I mean, he’s got freaking stage four cancer.”  

“It’s what he wants,” Dean said calmly.

“It’s what _he_ wants,” Sam parroted back. “Okay, you know what, I’m done trying to change your mind and getting you to see that this is definitely not a good idea.”

Dean glared at Sam. “You know what Sam, shut the fuck up. You don’t have to try to convince me. I know the risks, okay, I’m not a fucking idiot. I just came here to tell you where we were going so you wouldn’t worry.” Then he shoved past Sam and went to the door.

Sam sighed, got up from the couch where he had been sitting and followed Dean to the door. Before Dean left his home, Sam patted Dean's shoulder and said, “I’m sorry.”

Dean nodded at him and then went out to his car where Cas was waiting for him.

* * *

And so their trip began. They travelled for a week. They went to the Grand Canyon and then to Niagara Falls and in between, they stopped at different places. And they talked to each other and learned more about themselves and each other. They found their way back to each other.

And then when one day Cas couldn’t bring himself to do anything and couldn’t move, Dean couldn’t stand it anymore so he took Cas and drove as quickly as he could back to Kansas, where he eventually brought him to a hospital.

He had known logically that Cas was dying but seeing him sleep in that hospital bed, looking so small and near death, Dean walked out to the parking lot where he sobbed until he felt like he couldn’t breathe. He wished that his mom was still around so that she could hug him and tell him everything would be okay.

But he knew that couldn't happen. So he did the one thing he swore he would never do. He prayed to a God that he didn’t really believe in.

“Please, someone, I need some help,” Dean said desperately. 

No one came that night when Dean prayed. He shouted at the skies and yet his prayers were not answered because a few days later Cas took his final breath.

* * *

A few days after the funeral, Dean came to visit Castiel’s grave. He placed some flowers near the headstone and then walked a few steps back.

He cleared his throat before he began to speak. “Listen Cas, I don’t know if you can hear me but I want you to know that with us, the sun never set, not even in the end. And I uh- I hope you take care of yourself up there. Maybe you’ll see your parents and maybe you can say hi to mine if you see them. I just hope you’re happy and at peace and I love you."

Dean rubbed the headstone then and placed a kiss on it before he got into his car and drove away.

* * *

The next day, a flower started blooming next to Cas’s grave.

Dean had been right.

The sun would never set.


End file.
